He proves

29 04 2010

Here I am, sitting at 11:38 PM, thanking God for the provision he has alotted me. Im no King David, Michael Jordan or David Beckham, but this I do know. I am a child of the MOST HIGH GOD. And that my friend, makes me a prince, apart of the royal lineage, a child of his.

Need I never forget how much the Father always provides for his children. Im taking Ephesians 3:20 to my grave. “He is able to do immeasurably more than I can ask or imagine.” And tonight his grace proved again.

I met with an awesome couple tonight who opened their hearts, lives, and business up to me while I have been here in Wake Forest. Not only that, but that are now supporters of Revo Church and the movement to reach the lost people of Winston-Salem, NC. This pumps me up!

God will provide!!

This is what I must believe and what I am seriously resting my life on. Because if it were my choice right now, I would make an easy one and find a job that paid me what I knew I would be getting paid. I am stepping out on this limb, but Im not blind. My eyes are fixed on him to walk the path that is straight and narrow and the believe that he will keep my feet light against the sea.

If my God is for us, then who could ever stop us?





Casted Image

28 04 2010

I have made an idol of myself. You are probably asking, ” James, what do you mean?”

I mean that an idol is the displacement of worship for the creator to the things created. Therefore, I, the created, have not been complete in my worship of the One. I feel that everything that I have been trying to fix in my life has only been contingent upon putting the proverbial band aid over the wound but not actually healing the wound.

Its funny when you think about it in that context. When a kid is hurt and the sore is open they have come to associate the healing agent as the actual band aid, but in fact it is the emotional response of the care taker and the antibiotics that healed the child, both emotionally and physically.

Thats me. I find the problem, not only in my life but in others as well, and place the band aid over the wound. Thinking that once again if i do something then of course the effect must equal the favored response. A + B = C, right? I do the pragmatic equation and still find myself feeling a little better about my work but still not completely healed.

Thus, my wound is not restored to health. It is not cured or well. It just looks like its a work in progress. Which, in this society today, shows that I care and that I am trying. I am, but not out of God’s strength, but my own. Each wound grows deeper under the surface while the band aid still reflects my actual pseudo progress until a small thing touches the area and pain climaxes.

So what does this mean? My idol is my self. I am far more concerned with what I look like, what others think about me, who I portray, what man I am growing up to be and so forth. I didn’t sit down and carve a wooden James but I did however look in the mirror and not see Christ. I saw everything I just said before and because of that I did not worship the God who created me but the created person of myself. I saw this not because I want people to read this and again think he wants sympathy or he just has the work in progress motif all over him again, but to bring it to the attention of the church, my brothers and sisters in the Faith. I know I’m not the only one and maybe you do not struggle with this, but if you do, I hope this convicts and brings to attention a detrimental issue of what we are worshiping. Because we all worship something.

I pray that humility will be what I strive for. That the self-centeredness and false hope in myself would be removed and true worship of God the Father and eternal One will result. I pray for those who worship of idols other than God would be brought to attention and repented of as well.





I am worthless

6 04 2010

As of late it has been brought to my attention how on my own the worthless nature I deem. That the best I can attempt or succeed is filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6).

This at first produces a very defensive product within myself. One that grows with anger, self contempt, and yields a defeated person. One that stands with my hands in the air, giving up.

I confess, I have been trying to do everything on my own. I ask, pray, when I feel like I need His so called blessing upon my life but during everything else the path and outcome is placed within my own hands. I have been struggling with this for a few weeks now. And because of my efforts to constrain my own power and my own ability I have turned my pursuit and longing to be a man of God seeking only His heart and desire into a selfishness pursuit of vain strength of a boy.

Thus, I have been working endlessly in EVERY aspect of my life trying to find what it means to be a man after God’s own heart. My toil has been fruitful at first. But how quickly does my strength diminish. I grow tired physically because I work crazy hours and still attend school. My spiritual life wains because I feel I have some type of pseudo-strength. And my relationship finds a sense of tiredness and lack of dream and luster. As does my defeated person all together. I try and try and try and find myself falling flat on my face in every area. Yet, I know the solution to my problems that do not only effect me.

I find it in a gracious and heavenly Father. I find it in knowing the freedom I am suppose to be living in. I find it in holding fast to the promises to his children to give the desires of the heart to them when in true fellowship with Him. Simply, I find it in Jesus. Because He is not a mere addition to my life.

He is suppose to be my life. All my weaknesses are made strong in Him. My desires are fulfilled in a Father that wants best for his child. And only out of my complete consumption of Him will any of this ever be possible. Only then will I know what it means to live as a MAN and not a boy.

I pray that I will learn to make this apply to my life, that Jesus will be my life and EVERY aspect of my life will better, will grow fonder, will be wiser because of my growth only in Him. Father, forgive me for those that I have hurt. Let my words be yes and no. Take off my mask of expose myself to the world. I am nothing, but you are everything in me. Humble me…..

Broken, but in repair





The Humble Leader

31 03 2010

John 13:1-17

All to often I find myself assuming the leader role in whatever I am doing. I know that this is due to the wonderful calling that has been placed upon my life, but if there was one issue that I deal with on a reoccurring basis would be that of humility. Because I long to be the man, the leader, that God is forming me into. I quickly forget whose example I am following. Pride takes a turn for the worst and without fail, every time, the Lord confronts me with my sin and knocks me down to size. Humility is key in the role of leadership. It is something I have to strive for everyday. The servant leadership model that Jesus shows us in John 13 clearly portrays a true leader. One that is willing to do anything to make sure the people he loves with have the gift of eternal salvation that he obtains. That is the kind of humility I desperately seek.





Wild @ Heart??

22 03 2010

Wow! This book has really struck a chord within my soul. Im sorry I was reluctant to read this book. I just didn’t want to be like every other guy that went on a men’s retreat and read it. But, the adventure, the romanticism, the superheroes – it all makes so much sense now. I don’t know how I have missed it all these years. I long for those things because of the image I was created in. Not a physicality I was created in the sense of gender, but the soul of a man that identifies with God. That unending desire I have felt from my first boy hood crush until now to sweep the girl off her feet, rescue her from any evils and walk away hand in hand with the destruction at out back and the unknown to our forefront. So its natural, as I woke up on this Monday morning to get absolutely serious about my discipline with the Father, its raining, but that awe inspiring deterrent that pressures me to run in it, was only a catalyst to begin a search for my soul that I have long since seen. From running around the house in camo-fatigue, to donning the batman costume, or most recently- college prank wars, I find myself obtaining the desires of my heart.





iBreaking the norm

6 03 2010

Yesterday and today, one fact has been echoing in my head. Am I in a relationship with Christ looking into scripture to find truth, rebuke, correction, teaching or am I reading to find a sympathetic God who helps me with my problems and situations of life.

This thought is convicting because I know that although I would like to say I strive for first notion I presented I know that would be a lie. The holy scripture does help me with my current situation and always provides exactly what I need, but that cannot be my sole reason for wanting to get into the word.

This has been brought to my attention beccause I started to read through the Bible and I am now at the book of Leviticus. And honestly, the majority of the the rout processs that are accoumpained by the law and bringing sacrifices do not apply to me anymore. So reading a book that does not apply to me does not seem beneficial and I find myself skimming until I can grasp hold on something that is relevant to myself.

This attitude is something that I believe has influenced mainstream Christianity at the very heart and flows through the blood stream to everyone who reads.  Are we really treating the word of God as profitable? Cause if we were we would understand that ALL of the Bible is useful. We would see that Jesus quoted scripture from the Old Testament over and over again. Scripture breathes new life into us and gives us new direction every time we get into it, but the Holy Spirit must be the illumination. With out him. we are lost and looking for answers for only the problems that are at hand and not the bigger picture of what God is trying to tell us.

Let the scripture speak for its self. Read, Record and Reflect. This process must be complete or we are simply treating God as our car. We only need it when we need to get somewhere.





REpost “beans to seeds” and “change for change”

27 01 2010

This is a repost from: http://towardsloveandfear.wordpress.com/

Help Out!!

Hello everyone!
I pray that this note finds you all well! I am going to Jamaica again, but instead of on spring break this college kid is going on the larger trip in the summer. You may be asking why so soon with support raising? Well God has laid an incredible challenge on my heart this year. I have been challenged and asked to raise funds for more than one trip. WOAH! I know even in these hard financial times. I attended Passion 2010 this January, during that week God showed me that it is not impossible to change the world. He proved to me, through his power and grace, that people will give and pray their hearts out for love and promise.

I know God is faithful and know love wins. But I have to be honest about my fears. I am afraid of how attached my heart is to this trip this year. I have ached so much from missing those people and those Children. If it so hard to be away for this long, WHAT is God going to do when I get there? I may be afraid but I am extremely excited. I am also excited for all of you being apart of this mission.

Until it gets closer and time for support letters I have created a store front on JustLoveCoffee.com. This is where you can go shopping for coffee from all over the world, T-shirts, mugs, and coffee scoops. I will receive, from this amazing company, a portion of what you buy. Everything I receive from this will be put towards Jamaica 2010!

http://www.justlovecoffee.com/KatieArGoing

So by you going to my store and getting your self one or a million bags of coffee you are making it more possible for me and my team from Mountain Lake Church to love on people and children in Jamaica. These beans will become seeds of the love of our savior in Jamaican’s lives. Thank you so much for your time and support!

ALSO #2: “Change for Change”
I am asking everyone I know, whether you are 2 or 86 years old to collect change in a water bottle and give it to me. If is all pennies I am totally okay with that! Change goes a really long way (no pun intended). Let me know if you want a bottle I will be making some fun ones to remind you what it is for! I challenge you to do this with your roommates, family, work, or just yourselves. This little tiny effort is huge in the eyes of raising a little over $2,000 in five months. THANK YOU SO MUCH!

ONE MORE THING!
Send this and repost this to everyone you know or think will be interested! Let me know if anyone responds or has any questions! My email is kakaargo88@gmail.com. Thanks guys for becoming apart of the Summer Jamaica 2010 team! ☺

God bless,

Katie

PS
If you are not willing/or have no use for coffee but still would like to give let me know and I will be more than happy to help get that figured out.

ALSO, if you cannot give, I ask you to be apart of my prayer team. Prayer is needed just as much if not more than money. Thank you so much!
I love you all!

"Seeds of every generation Between our hands And the promise to teach you the little I have learned So far... Child, What will you live to do? What have I left for you? What will we leave behind?" -- Brooke Fraser